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Stephen Colbert Explains Why The Controversial New 'Star Wars' Lightsaber Is 'Perfect'

star wars the force awakens sith lightsaber
The controversial three-pronged Sith lightsaber in "Star Wars: The Force Awakens." Disney/Lucasfilm

When the “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” teaser trailer premiered it showed off a new three-pronged lightsaber, igniting a flurry of fans to equally defend and denounce the design.

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The design is meant to protect a user's hand from opponent's lightsaber attacks. However, the argument from some fans is that those tiny blades aren’t going to do much protecting. They could easily be hacked off by other lightsabers.

star wars episode 7 lightsaber issue
Disney/Lucasfilm, Business Insider composite

The Verge wrote a lengthy geek-tastic interpretation of the flawed design while proposing a better one with mini side lightsabers at 45-degree angles. The design is similar to other lightsabers in the "Star Wars" canon.

Here's how a fan envisions it:

star wars episode 7 lightsaber fan made
YouTube

Not so fast, haters.

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Self-proclaimed "Star Wars" fanatic Stephen Colbert is upset by all the flak the new lightsaber is receiving. So he elaborately broke down on "The Colbert Report" why the new lightsaber was a "perfect" design.

stephen colbert lightsaber
Comedy Central/The Colbert Report

Colbert explains:

Sadly, there are some stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herders out there who aren’t thrilled with the new Jedi weapon. They say if these things are supposed to protect your hands like sword hilts, it wouldn’t work because the first time you cross lightsabers and it slid down to the bottom of the blade your opponent’s lightsaber would chop through the little side sabers and take off your hand.

the colbert report lightsaber
Colbert broke down fans' main problem with the new "Star Wars" lightsaber. Comedy Central/The Colbert Report

"Well, I say it’s a perfect design," Colbert said. "Here’s how it works. I’ve done my analysis."

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stephen colbert star wars lightsaber
Comedy Central/The Colbert Report

"People think it’s actually three different plasma streams, but it's all one," Colbert says. "The long beam right here comes out and the two smaller beams at the bottom, they're still attached to it. They don’t start where the little metal hilt ends, OK? They're attached to the other beam inside. The metal hilts are just casings around the little beams to protect your hand. Even if someone slices through the metal, they're going to hit the beam right there. Any padawan knows that."

colbert lightsaber star wars
Comedy Central/The Colbert Report

Colbert also had a retort for fans who still refused to believe him.

"Now, I know what you're thinking," Colbert said. "You're saying, 'But Stephen, in the trailer the first light beam comes out before the other two. How could it all be one beam?'"

star wars episode 7 lightsaber
Disney/Lucasfilm

"It's simple," he said. "You just need three focusing crystal activators to split the plasma into perpendicular blade energy channels."

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All the galactic credits to Colbert.

Watch the full clip below. It's a must watch.

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