Careers

11 signs your boss is passive aggressive

Áine Cain

2016-08-26T14:03:00Z

Having a passive-aggressive boss is the worst.

Here's a weird historical example to prove that point, involving Tsar Ivan IV (spoiler alert: he's now remembered as Ivan the Terrible).

After years of squabbling with the powerful boyars (Russian noble families), Ivan stormed out of Moscow in 1564. From his self-imposed exile, he sent out letters announcing the possibility of his abdication, according to "Ivan the Terrible" by Robert Payne and Nikita Romanoff. The tsar cited the corruption within the upper echelons of Russian society as the main reason for his departure.

Good for the boyars, right? Nope. Ivan's departure put Moscow on edge. Fearing violence, the boyars begged him to stay in power. Of course, before he would kiss and make up, Ivan had a few conditions — namely, seizing absolute power that would allow him to persecute any perceived traitors without oversight. In the subsequent years, he proceeded to wreak havoc on the boyars and anyone else he saw as disloyal.

Pretty passive aggressive, right?

If you think of Ivan as a sort of early modern boss, you can begin to understand why a passive aggressive manager is a dangerous manager. They've got all the bitterness and wrath of a plain old aggressive boss, but they're much subtler, and therefore harder to deal with.

Therefore, it's imperative that you learn to pick up on some of the tell-tale symptoms. Here are 11 signs that your boss is passive aggressive:

Their humor verges on hostility

Your boss might say "just kidding" after hurling insult after insult at you, but you're not laughing.

Writing for Psychology Today, Preston Ni notes that "disguised hostile humor" is a tell-tale sign of passive aggression. Your boss might hide behind the guise of humor, but they're really just using you as a punching bag.

Their feedback is unclear

During your feedback sessions, they talk in circles. Passive-aggressive bosses leave you with the impression that you've screwed up, without giving you concrete information on how you can improve.

It's a passive-aggressive tactic, because it avoids confrontation while also signaling something is wrong. This can really throw you off balance.

They stir up office politics

Maybe your boss has an obvious favorite that they coddle. Maybe they sow seeds of discontent within different teams, giving rise to a toxic, hypercompetitive environment. Maybe they even wade into the sludge that is the office rumor mill.

Either way, if your boss is playing games in the office, treat it as a red flag that they're a passive-aggressive person. Instead of taking charge and managing, they'd prefer to adopt sketchy behaviors in order to further their agenda.

They never explain things

One morning, your manager up and reassigns your big project to a coworker. You try to figure out if you did something wrong, but they won't give you any clear answers.

That leaves you stuck in limbo — angry about your abrupt demotion and confused about whether or not you're to blame.

They're not accountable

Your boss holds everyone accountable — except themselves. When they mess up, the blame's always put on external factors or some poor scapegoat. It's never any sort of overt announcement or explanation either. After a while, you begin to just accept that the rules don't apply to your boss.

This is one passive-aggressive tendency that's particularly terrible for office morale.

They're sticklers for dumb rules

Passive aggressive people love lots of intricate, pointless rules. These guidelines give them the ability to strike others down from the safety of taking an official position.

If your office is hampered by a tangle of arbitrary but intensely enforced regulations, you've probably got a passive-aggressive person at the helm.

They give you the cold shoulder

If you feel like your boss is ignoring you, consider the possibility that you're the problem. Try asking for feedback in order to figure out what's going on. Did you mess something up and lose their trust? Could they just be swamped with their own problems?

If your reflection and their feedback turns up nothing, they might just have a bad attitude. Maybe you did something minor that they perceived as a slight. It's too petty to bring up, but they're still determined to punish you.

They set people up to fail

Suddenly, your boss is saddling you with impossible deadlines, insane requests, and an insurmountable workload.

They might just be demanding. Or they might be setting you up to fail because they don't like you or see you as future competition.

Either way, this is a super passive-aggressive tactic. They can always just fall back on the excuse that you failed.

They hold grudges

You messed something up months ago, and they're still throwing it in your face, despite the fact that you've since proven yourself and returned to form.

Passive-aggressive people are like magpies, expect instead of collecting odds and ends, they hoard examples of others' weaknesses. If your boss can't let go of one mistake you made long ago, that's not a great sign.

They're not invested in improving employees

The passive-aggressive boss really couldn't care less about cultivating talent and mentorship. They're so wrapped up in their own professional progression that they tend to focus exclusively on themselves (along with a few lackeys, in some cases), at the expense of the rest of the office.

They drop hints, they don't issue orders

At first, this might seem like a good thing. At a certain level, having a manager that doesn't boss you around can feel like a plus.

However, in reality, this is a huge problem. Your boss forces you to play the role of mind reader in order to figure out what they actually want, rather than simply telling you outright. This leads to a stress-ridden, unclear office environment.